On The New Year

There's something to be said for the end of the year... that moment of simultaneously looking forwards and back.

If I knew what I know now at the end of 2013, I would have spent more time in the looking back than the looking forward.

Alas that was last year and time, as we know, waits for no man. So we stand on the cusp of 2015 and I look backwards with the clarity of one whose glasses are tinted by time and also with joy and disappointment.

I look forward with a hint of skepticism, remembering the heart-thumping anticipation of past New Year's Eves and how much of it was more optimistic than warranted.

Looking back more than forward, however cynical it sounds, gives me a chance to review.  To look for the lessons I learned and the ones that I missed.  To consider the roster of people I have spent my time with and those who I allowed to fall by the wayside. To reconsider the choices I made from the light of a new day and reveal how emotion, or lack thereof, influenced me duly or unduly.

Looking forward, in this moment, I wish I was one who believed in New Year's resolutions.  Who with hope and good intention could vow to be or become something. But I have never been this person and really, if I have to wait until December 31st to make vows to myself and the universe, how important could they be?

I would like to say that I learned a lot in 2014.  I hope I have.  Some of the lessons have been hard, some of the teachers have been unexpected, some of the pathways have been dark and treacherous. I would not like to revisit some of the emotional roads I have traveled but 2015 awaits and with it, I'm sure, new lessons and teachers and roads.

You who have been a part of 2014, thank you.

Those with whom my path will cross in 2015, let's go!

Happy New Year to you all!