Failing Greatly - Me, Not the Book

I first read Dr. Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly just over a year ago.  At the time I felt so encouraged and inspired to authentically share myself.

After this last week, when I found myself stuffing very raw and very real emotions down into every dark corner I could find within, I realize that I need a refresher course. A reminder of how not just appropriate but necessary it is for me to show myself.  If not to everyone then at least to a few somebodies.

The funniest thing about vulnerability is that I can't really hide it.  

Mask, yes.  I can make it look like anger, like sadness, like incredible competence or, wait for it...I don't give a shit and you can't make me."

Depending on the depth of my challenge, I will rub through the list once or twice which is really handy for keeping people wondering what the fuck is going on but also robs me of the opportunity to get my needs met. 

As emotionally savvy as I think my magical mask makes me, I haven't found a way to make my vulnerability look like happiness or joy or anything else that remotely resembles a positive emotion.  

So, here I am on January 4, me who doesn't make resolutions, gritting my teeth and preparing to give myself a kick in the ego by rereading this book.

I would like to say I'm surprised I need the reminder, that I expected the first reading to sink in and take root, forevermore providing me with courage an wisdom.

Truth is, I am a voracious reader and it is one of only four books that I keep at my bedside. One, out of all the thousands of books that I have read which has the ability to put out my emotional flame while setting my soul on fire.

This evening I will be pouring my glass of wine, adding bubbles to my bath and setting out on this journey so that 2015 is as joyous and fulfilling as it is meant to be.