Happy Father's Day

This Father's Day I salute Marty Umanetz and every other man who has stepped forward to raise children who are not biologically their own.

Because you generously share yourself, I have watched my kids learn to believe they are worthy of a father's attention and love.

I have watched you fit soccer shoes on anxious feet, kiss away tears, speak reasonably, then loudly, then not really speak at all...I think it's called yelling?

I have watched the thrill on my son's face as he used a chainsaw; watched the kids paddle through calm waters; hike through deer riddled woods; fly down tobagganing hills which I am still not convinced were particularly safe...we'll have to talk about that!

You have taught them to fish, to paint; play guitar. To hope; set goals; work hard; be accountable; be responsible; take pride in their work; laugh; and love even when it means letting go.

I have watched you apologize; accept; regret; reconcile; and fall in love.

Every day my appreciation and respect for you grows as does my love and theirs.

Many men are father's because they have children, you have chosen to be a father when you didn't have to and for that I will always love and respect you.

Happy Father's Day

Friendship

I was driving down the street yesterday when I saw these two ladies strolling through the afternoon sunshine. They were walking and laughing and I, passing on the side of the road was roped in by the simple joy of it. I drove two blocks further down the road before I remembered that my camera was in the car.

I pulled a U-turn and found them, still walking and still laughing as they continued on their path to wherever. In my minds-eye, I pictured myself 30 years from now, walking with a good friend, sharing tales of our youth and remembering the times we were footloose and fancy free or found ourselves sharing a laugh in spite of the fact that we were encumbered and heavy with the weight of our world.

In spite of the obvious reasons why I shouldn't, I put the camera to my eye and took this pic. Now at a busy intersection, I wished the women were someplace I could pull over and talk to them. Where I could ask them about their friendship and joy or ask them if they had any advice they wished to share. I wished I had a moment to thank them for being on my path, to offer them a copy of the pic.

Instead, I pulled another U-turn and continued on my way, thinking of the friends I would like to take as far forward into the future as my life stretches and of the joy and support I hope we continue to give each other as we move through this lifetime.

I hope that when I realize my time here is running out that I decide to make up for the 40+ years I didn't wear eyeshadow and try to wear them all at once as this lady – for whatever reason – does and I hope that the friends I have will be able to overlook it enough to want to hold my hand anyway.

I hope that, no matter how slowly, I am able to walk freely without the aid of a walker or cane. That my hands are free for holding and that I have enough control over them that I can manage to hold on to another.

I hope that my memory is good enough that I can remember who my friends are and what they bring to my life but also that it is short enough that the laughter matters more than the tears.

I hope that I still want to be touched.

I don't know why these women were holding hands. I know that over the years many women have held my hands both literally and figuratively and that it was always a reflection of a deep emotional connection that we shared.

As I arrive in my driveway, the warmth in my heart causes me to send a prayer of peace and gratitude to these women. To all women and the friendships that hold us together when it feels for all the world like we're falling apart.

Stronger

Stronger

when I say yes instead of no

Stronger 

when I relax and let life flow

Stronger

when I let a weakness show

Stronger

when I absorb the blow

Stronger

when I breathe and let it go

Stronger

when I feel my spirit grow

Stronger 

when I celebrate your glow

Stronger

when I eat my plate of crow

Stronger

when I reap the seeds I sew

Stronger

when my ducks get out of row

Stronger

when I love and let you know.

- Vera

The Tale

If you ignore the multitude

red white and green signs against

trespass

walk through the silent

fallen and their sentries standing

guard

tiptoe 'round the poison ivy

on the path well worn by 

dissenters who have come before

hoping patrollers of this

man-made free environment

fail

to see necessity of taking their

job too seriously

you will come to

the place.

A long shoreline

where beaver deer bear 

congregate with birds and

their prey

A place where you try to

spill only the blood of the battling worm

before you arc rod

snap it forward

watching

hooked bait sail across

calm waters.

The world and it's trappings fall

away

relaxed yet poised to react 

you

breathe life into dreams

while 

mosquitoes buzz away drunk with gratitude

Whether the fish bite or not is

irrelavant

you have a grand tale of adventure and daring

that every 11-year-old boy should

have in his arsenal to

tell.

- Vera