Holes

Inside my head

I repeat the nasty

things I heard you say.

Allow them to echo

through the corridors of

who I am.

Though

I know it's the same thing

as repeatedly stabbing myself with

your sword, I somehow

cannot stop myself

even as it tears holes 

in the central core

of my being.

With every reverberation

I convince me

that I am getting stronger.

I rearrange the words

searching for the one which

holds the key to their power

then dismantle

until it is a pile of useless

letters strewn across

my heart.

Breathless, I pick through

the tender landscape of myself.

I match each letter I encounter

with something loving, something kind, something

ME,

then use the new word

to plug a hole.

When I am done I sit back

and see that I am

unmistakably me yet also

stronger and free.

- Vera