Many North American cities experienced flooding this Spring. I have watched the news reports, silently horrified for those affected and the homes full of loving memories which have been lost. On a recent visit to the docks in Port Dalhousie, I noticed this sign and a truth about who I am hit me.
I wouldn't dream of walking over or around the barriers to explore how deep the water is. I am not tempted to wade up to the fence to see what's going on.
Ninety-nine percent of the time I obey signs. I don't ignore or walk past "danger". I handle packages marked as "fragile" with care. I assume that the people who place the signs do so with integrity and the intent to keep me safe.
As much as I am an outside-the-norm person when it comes to making independent life choices, I am a conformist when it comes to obeying some signs...ok, a lot of the signs.
Somehow it is also true that I do not obey some of the most important signs...the ones given to me by people about themselves. Instead, I do what I would call puzzle people out. When I see a "Do Not Touch" sign posted in a person's personality I want to poke at it to see why it is painful. A "Do Not Enter" makes me wonder what scariness lies behind the closed door.
One of my favourite quotes from Maya Angelou is: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Yet I don't. I can't. I hold out believing that whatever has caused them to react, behave or say the things they have can be healed with love or overcome with understanding.
I don't want people to hurt. I want them to be who they were before whatever it is that changed them changed them. I know that person is still in there, vulnerable but reachable. Catching occasional glimpses gives me the encouragement I need to keep trying.
I have heard it said that you can't change a person. I think that's only partly true... we can't change the experiences people we meet have had but we can offer them a safe place to reveal themselves without judgement and that, in itself can be life changing.
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